Who to talk??

Recently




Who am I going to talk to when I got problems? I really don't know because most of the time I draw. But now i don't. Had kept my tools and pieces of arts in a box and hide it under the bed. Cause i promise someone not to touch it anymore.

@Yes, I do have a lot of friends but not all I can talk heart-to-heart.

@ I do have family around, but they were all too busy with their own things, usually I waited for them until they had settled but it's late and I'm ready to bed.

@ I do have boy but somehow, he was far far away in UK and facing his own problems also. And I refuse to trouble him more.

@ I used to have a best friend, Ruby, my late pet dog. As you know, she died a month ago.

@ I do still own a cat and a little dog. But both of them only approach when they want to eat.

I had plenty time to wait for them settled down and had a talk. But they had just a little time to spend in a day.
And while waiting for them, I had to throw away my tears, my laughter, my dreams, my weakness, and everything that will trouble them much. So that one day I'll learn to be a person who is tough, at the same time, to be a numb puppet.

Honestly,I hate pretending smiling in front of them. It's tired but have to.
I hate it when they want me to listen to them but refuse to listen the little voice inside my heart.
I hate it when they need me and I'll be there for them; But when I need them, they will push me away from them.
And the cruel fact is, that's only the time I can spend with them. So I have to love the things that I hate of. _(-.-)_

I used to have a friendly heart and big smile on my face. But sadness and depress had tear it piece by piece. The sad things is, no one's there to help putting up my smiles. _(-.-)_

I love to eat spicy things a lot, especially when I'm down and unhappy. Because that's the only things that could numb my heart and stopped my tears. Also, not to focus on the bad things I had experienced everyday.

And one thing I've learned today..from a quote.

"Never explain yourself to any one. Because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it."

and it's true.













xoxo
grace.via